When Winnie the Pooh needs more than just a smackerel of honey, you need an interdivention! (British radio play sketch)

Winnie the Pooh has delivered an overwhelming need for honey ... and only his friends can save him
Winnie the Pooh has delivered an overwhelming need for honey … and only his friends can save him (image via resilientartist)

 

“Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a minute and think of it. And then he feels that perhaps there isn’t. Anyhow, here he is at the bottom, and ready to be introduced to you. Winnie-the-Pooh.”

“Hi, I’m Winnie the Pooh and I am a honey addict.”

A-what a-what now?

You heard the bear correctly, he’s a honey addict, always jonesing for a smackerel of honey to get him through the day even at the risk of life or limb, or the structural integrity of the door to Rabbit’s house.

And in this hilarious sketch from John Finnemore, a gifted comedy writer who is best known for the BBC radio sitcom Cabin Pressure, on another of his much-loved programmes, a british radio sketch show called The Souvenir Programme, all of Pooh’s friends decide it’s high time there was what Owl terms an “interdivention” for their honey-abusing wayward friend.

Pooh is naturally resistant at first, failing to see that liking honey so much can be such a bad thing, and interpreting the “interdivention” as a part of some sort which Owl makes quite it most assuredly is not.

Resistant he might be at first, and remember he is a bear of little brain so picking up on the mounting evidence takes a little time, but after he is reminded of the time he is stuck in Rabbit’s doorway for three days thanks to honey over-consumption, his eating of Eeyore’s birthday present of a pot of honey so that it became just a pot – “Of course I didn’t like the pot. I was horribly embarrasses for you. I was just being nice” says Eeyore – and the way in which he placed Piglet’s life in grave danger when he attacked a great big blue balloon to his person to steal honey from a beehive (“That’s not a spot of bother Pooh; that’s the reckless desperation of an addict”).

Put like that, well, what can a “Silly old bear!” do but admit there might something to the allegations being made by his well-meaning, deeply-caring friends who have found it most difficult to confront him, especially Piglet who admits “Oh Pooh this is so difficult for me but you were there when I was coming off the haycorns (aka acorns)”.

After all, as Pooh realises he doesn’t want to end up like Tigger who is described, rather hilariously, as a “psychotic tiger with a steroid addiction” rather than a “bouncy boy who likes his strengthening medicine”.

Does he give it up? Is it all resolved to everyone’s satisfaction, most of all Pooh’s? Will you ever be able to stop laughing after listening to this fantastically-funny, inspired piece of radio sketch comedy?

No, likely not, but go ahead and listen anyway to this sketch and all the other pieces of Finnemore brilliance out there while Pooh goes bump-bump-bump back up the stairs, possibly honey free …

 

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